Unbelievable

I can't believe I'm even saying or writing these words, but in two miserable days it will be 1 year that we have lived without you.  I know you are with us everyday...I have seen you, Robert has seen you, Ms. Julie has seen you, Jessie has seen you and Boo too!  But damn it, I just wish you were still right here with us in the flesh.  You had SO much to offer this decrepit world, you would have made such a huge difference with your contributions.  Last May 30th the world went dark, an emotional tsunami hit us, the greatest loss imaginable happened, all I can say is, I am so, so, so, so, sorry for having failed you, and I deserve the misery I'm living in without you.

People who I didn't have the courage to tell about your passing are just now finding out about it.  And they are crushed, their lives will never be the same.  They are left in emotional shambles like the rest of us. You were sooooo loved by sooooo many people, you just didnt' know!  In the 16 short years you were on this earth, you touched so many people, in so many ways, everyone says you inspired them, you were their best friend, they looked up to you.  I'm 48 and I cannot say that I've had that kind of influence on people, maybe a couple, but certainly not as many as you, no way! 

I can't type anymore right now, tears are streaming down my face...I love you!

Mom