Checking In

I cannot believe I had forgotten about this blog!  How crazy...not really tho, cos this past year has been a bit of a roller coaster.  I am starting the Love Keeps Us Connected Foundation.  It will include the Lauren E Scholarship Fund, and also Lauren's Place. 

The essence of the Foundation will be to help people through scholarship, donations, and it will offer a refuge for young people to go to if they feel like getting away from their troubles and have some clean, safe fun without any worries.

I think you'll approve, and I promise to work really hard to make this Foundation the most it can be.

Mom

High School

The high school chapter is now closed.  Graduation day was very trying for your brother and I.  Caitlin mentioned you in her speech, she's a young lady who is true to herself, and I was very grateful.  The big surprise came when Evans mentioned you in his speech.  WOW!  Mouths literally dropped on that one...he was very respectful, and what he said was very appropriate.  I truly appreciated it, and so did Robert.

I got the yearbook I ordered for you.  Your page looks awesome, the senior picture has your name and major, no dates, which I really liked.  Lots of your friends and teachers signed in it, no matter how hard Evans tried to erase you from the class of 2010 it didn't work.  We all love you sooooo much and miss you every second of every day.  I know you are with us, well, you know what I'm gonna say next...

Mom

P.S.  I hung the ET tassle you left for me in my car on the rear view mirror...

Unbelievable

I can't believe I'm even saying or writing these words, but in two miserable days it will be 1 year that we have lived without you.  I know you are with us everyday...I have seen you, Robert has seen you, Ms. Julie has seen you, Jessie has seen you and Boo too!  But damn it, I just wish you were still right here with us in the flesh.  You had SO much to offer this decrepit world, you would have made such a huge difference with your contributions.  Last May 30th the world went dark, an emotional tsunami hit us, the greatest loss imaginable happened, all I can say is, I am so, so, so, so, sorry for having failed you, and I deserve the misery I'm living in without you.

People who I didn't have the courage to tell about your passing are just now finding out about it.  And they are crushed, their lives will never be the same.  They are left in emotional shambles like the rest of us. You were sooooo loved by sooooo many people, you just didnt' know!  In the 16 short years you were on this earth, you touched so many people, in so many ways, everyone says you inspired them, you were their best friend, they looked up to you.  I'm 48 and I cannot say that I've had that kind of influence on people, maybe a couple, but certainly not as many as you, no way! 

I can't type anymore right now, tears are streaming down my face...I love you!

Mom

Online Memorial Book - Baltimore Sun

People are still signing in the online memorial book with the Baltimore Sun.  In light of that, I decided to memorialize it.  It will be left online for eternity...and people will have the ability to sign in it forever.  It's the least I can do...XOXOXOXOXO

It's crazy, people who never met you, but heard about you, think about you all the time and feel privileged to know of you...simply amazing!  We never should have lost you, it's a crime! 

Birthday

That was an awesome b-day present, because of you, it was a great day!

Easter Egg Hunt

Today Boo remembered how Ms. Julie and I would hide plastic easter eggs with quarters inside for you guys when you were little.  He said he remembered how I would hide them in hard places and how we would help Robert find them cos he was so little and you and Boo would find most of them.

Do you remember Easters at Oma's and the crazy dodge ball games with Daniel?  Fun times...miss you too damn much!  

I Miss You Everyday!!!!

Nudge

Daddy isn't ready yet, you might need to give him a little nudge...

Belfair

I felt you with me at Belfair baby girl!  Thanks for the help, it's gonna be awesome!