High School

The high school chapter is now closed.  Graduation day was very trying for your brother and I.  Caitlin mentioned you in her speech, she's a young lady who is true to herself, and I was very grateful.  The big surprise came when Evans mentioned you in his speech.  WOW!  Mouths literally dropped on that one...he was very respectful, and what he said was very appropriate.  I truly appreciated it, and so did Robert.

I got the yearbook I ordered for you.  Your page looks awesome, the senior picture has your name and major, no dates, which I really liked.  Lots of your friends and teachers signed in it, no matter how hard Evans tried to erase you from the class of 2010 it didn't work.  We all love you sooooo much and miss you every second of every day.  I know you are with us, well, you know what I'm gonna say next...

Mom

P.S.  I hung the ET tassle you left for me in my car on the rear view mirror...

Unbelievable

I can't believe I'm even saying or writing these words, but in two miserable days it will be 1 year that we have lived without you.  I know you are with us everyday...I have seen you, Robert has seen you, Ms. Julie has seen you, Jessie has seen you and Boo too!  But damn it, I just wish you were still right here with us in the flesh.  You had SO much to offer this decrepit world, you would have made such a huge difference with your contributions.  Last May 30th the world went dark, an emotional tsunami hit us, the greatest loss imaginable happened, all I can say is, I am so, so, so, so, sorry for having failed you, and I deserve the misery I'm living in without you.

People who I didn't have the courage to tell about your passing are just now finding out about it.  And they are crushed, their lives will never be the same.  They are left in emotional shambles like the rest of us. You were sooooo loved by sooooo many people, you just didnt' know!  In the 16 short years you were on this earth, you touched so many people, in so many ways, everyone says you inspired them, you were their best friend, they looked up to you.  I'm 48 and I cannot say that I've had that kind of influence on people, maybe a couple, but certainly not as many as you, no way! 

I can't type anymore right now, tears are streaming down my face...I love you!

Mom

Online Memorial Book - Baltimore Sun

People are still signing in the online memorial book with the Baltimore Sun.  In light of that, I decided to memorialize it.  It will be left online for eternity...and people will have the ability to sign in it forever.  It's the least I can do...XOXOXOXOXO

It's crazy, people who never met you, but heard about you, think about you all the time and feel privileged to know of you...simply amazing!  We never should have lost you, it's a crime! 

Birthday

That was an awesome b-day present, because of you, it was a great day!

Easter Egg Hunt

Today Boo remembered how Ms. Julie and I would hide plastic easter eggs with quarters inside for you guys when you were little.  He said he remembered how I would hide them in hard places and how we would help Robert find them cos he was so little and you and Boo would find most of them.

Do you remember Easters at Oma's and the crazy dodge ball games with Daniel?  Fun times...miss you too damn much!  

I Miss You Everyday!!!!

Nudge

Daddy isn't ready yet, you might need to give him a little nudge...

Belfair

I felt you with me at Belfair baby girl!  Thanks for the help, it's gonna be awesome!

Signs

The way you have been communicating with me and your friends is awesome!  Keep those signs coming, it gets us through the day, we all love you very much and will never forget you, ever!

ARRRGGGHHH

My brain is completely fried...can't think  :-(

Covert Operation

One night Lauren and I were driving on Belair Road going north and in front of us we noticed a car that was dragging it's backside and was full of stuff.  I mean there was no visibility in that car besides through the front windshield.  We passed it, and saw the driver was a tiny, tiny person who could barely see over the steering wheel, and kinda looked like a troll.  Instantly and in unison we said "OMG what is that, is it a man or a woman!  OMG!"  The scene was freaky, cos all you could see was the top of this person's head and tons of stuff around; and he/she was speeding and swerving...probably because they couldn't see over the steering wheel.

We decided to go on an adventure and follow the car to see where it ended up.  We drove through Fullerton, then Perry Hall, then the car turned into the Walgreens parking lot, the one in Perry Hall, and parked as far as possible in the back lot.  I pulled in the side lot and we observed.  A tiny man, who was hunch backed got out of the car and walked into Walgreens.  Lauren was like "OMG!  It IS a troll!" and we both busted out laughing.  We weren't making fun of the little guy, it was just that the whole situation was SO random, you couldn't help but laugh.

We were really curious and wanted to check out the car, and see what was really in it.  So we went on a "covert operation," and like secret agents, we swiftly surrounded the car, I was standing guard, and Lauren was circling the car telling me what she saw.  She saw cereal boxes, paper towels, cans of soup and such.  It seemed the poor man was living out of his car.  Lauren decided to take pictures with her cellphone, then she got completely paranoid and without a word ran off back to our car, leaving me there.  She was running in an exaggerated manner, making herself and me crack up.  I joined her in the car, and we decided to sit and wait for the man to come back out.

About 10 minutes later the little guy came out carrying a bag with what seemed to be just one item inside of it. He was shopping for about 20 minutes total, and it was pretty late, so we wondered what the Walgreens employees must have thought as they saw him, cos he was the only customer in there.  We watched as he got into his car expecting him to pull out, but instead he sat in it and reclined his seat.  We could only surmise he was going to spend the night in his car, right there in the parking lot.

After all of that we felt really bad, and wondered if there was anyway we could help.  Conclusion, there really wasn't anything we could do, so we just wished him well from afar, and left.

Mr. Paul

Lauren!  Mr. Paul has a Facebook now, you know what to do...

Friends

Lauren, you have the most amazing friends!  Spent some time talking with a couple of them today, and they love you soooo much!  You have made such an impact on their lives, they will never forget you!

Robert

Here's your brother's 8th grade picture...looks good with his hair a bit long, doesn't he?  

Lauren on the Brain

Today has been a heavy "Lauren on the Brain" day, especially for your brother.  I know you know it, please do what you can to help him feel better...I love you!

New York, New York, a Hell of a Town!

Lauren loved New York just about as much as I do.  At times I felt like I had to go there just to plug in, to re-energize.  The first time I took Lauren there, she was five years old, and she was appearing on an episode of Blue Clues. We spent the whole day taping, it was fantastic!  She was the only child who could read the cue cards, so she had the main part in the episode, which was about the skeleton, and the human bones.

Lauren appreciated NYC for all it had to offer, the same as me.  I used to live there, so I knew where to go, cutting through the chase. We would try to get there as often as we could and always had lots of fun. Even though at times she brought a friend along, it was clear NYC was our own.  I was so glad she loved it  like I did, because that was the one thing she and I could share that no-one else really understood...

The Royal Title

When Lauren entered the 9th grade at Eastern Tech, during the first days of school, one of her teachers asked each student in the class what name they preferred to go by.  Without even blinking Lauren informed the teacher that she was to be referred to as "Your Royal Highness Lauren Elizabeth Edgerton of Cheshire."  The teacher obliged, and the title stuck...

Always in Our Thoughts, Forever in Our Hearts

A day doesn't go by that, whatever I'm doing, thoughts like "Lauren would like this," or "Lauren would crack up at this," or "Lauren had something like this," pop in to my head.  I feel you near me all the time, and I LOVE that!  Keep coming to me, I need you...

It's been getting easier for Robert to speak aloud about you,  he loves you so much!  Keep watching over him and help him as he gets closer to high school, he needs you...

Daddy can't really talk about you too much...he blames himself.  He's not ready for you to be near him yet, but one day he will be, he needs you.

You have touched so many people, and every single day we all miss you like there's no tomorrow!  You told me you are happy and that you are safe, and for that I am grateful, but it will not change the fact that I will miss you everyday until the day I see you again!